While I have been a frequenter of the Mustaches of the Nineteenth Century establishment and in many ways agree with the proprietor as to the style and manliness of such facial adornments, I fear I must take exception to his rather low opinion of beards. The proprietor often uses descriptives such as “madness” and “shameful.” His posting of the first of April declaring bearded men the “Fools of April” was finally too much for me to continue suffering in silence.
I therefore announce the opening of this establishment; Century of the Beard.
This is, of course, in no way meant to belittle mustaches or the fine menagerie presented by the neighboring Mustaches of the Nineteenth Century. I, too, once had a mustache when I was young and just growing into my identity. But as I matured, I merely found it to be an inadequate expression and evolved into something more substantial. Many other fine gentlemen also took that path less traveled to grow beards, refusing to be deterred by gangs of raucous and clean shaven youths mocking their elders and betters.
I also beg your pardon, gentle readers, in that I do not have the extensive archives of the University of Kentucky at my disposal. I will begin my journey by accessing public sources and perhaps, should providence smile upon me, I shall have opportunity to present new, exotic, mysterious and heretofore unseen beards for previously untapped sources.
Welcome to the Century of the Beard