Flattery

After a panel at an Ohio convention, an attendee came up to me and said:

"When my beard grows up, it wants to be just like yours."

I was, of course, flattered. And while I do not have what I consider to be an epic beard, one worthy of international accolades in the arena of competition, I am quite proud of my facial adornment and pleased that inspires others.

And yet, I am slightly hesitant. I have spent years cultivating a beard which I think is unique and would be sorely disappointed should someone choose to imitate my particular style.

So, allow the Century of the Beard to inspire you in finding your own path.The men featured here certainly did not mimic or parrot those around them. Nor should you.

Professor Modevi’s Beard Generator

Pitty the poor man who lacks the follicles to grow himself a beard as he may forever be looked upon as a mere juvenile amongst men. But fear no more, for Professor Modevi's advertisement in The Illustrated Police News of 4 April 1885 announces vast experience in producing a marvelous topical pharmacon that shall bring one's manliness to its fullest of potential. Surely the Victorian equivalent of Rogaine and Enzyte concocted into a single elixir.

Octo-beard

There are those who clearly believe you cannot have too much of a good thing. Especially when that good thing happens to be you. Painter. Photographer. Sculptor. Man with a beard.

Which, through an only slightly disjointed sequence of related thoughts, leads me to the question: If there were more than one of you, would each have the same beard? Would the collective you take the opportunity to wear a variety of beards and perhaps experiment with an assortment of facial adornments or do you, like this man, feel that your beard is already your ideal and worthy of being duplicated exactly?

What would you do?

What would you do?

Big Hairy Deal

Last week, I had the distinct pleasure of attending the first Steampunk World's Fair in Piscataway, New Jersey. Being steampunk, there were plenty of fine, Victorian beards on display. There were plenty of things that pass for beards in the Twenty-first Century as well. To separate the metal from the dross, there was held an Epic Bear and Moustache Competition.

It was my first experience with entering myself and my beard into such a thing and I am humbled that so many people had such a difficult time choosing between me and the man who ultimately won the grand prize through his astronomical skill at the sport of rochambeau. Truly, his moustache, which stood a full five inches out from his face and from which he had scurrilously cut an additional four inches before coming to the event, was fully worthy of all accolades.

Observe the competition.



There were only a half dozen or so to enter the competition but this should in no way diminish the very fine facial adornments that wereto be found elsewhere throughout the convention. Many beards and moustaches of all classes and vareties were to be seen in the halls of the hotel, though I will note a higher percentage of friendly mutton chops than perhaps any other style as it would seem that the chops are seen a century later as somewhat indicative of the period.

I wonder if there was ever any sort of statistical analysis made of the prevelance of particular styles of beards at the end of the 19th Century.

Next week, I attend the World Steam Expo, another opportunity to witness the revival of the nearly lost art of pogontrophy.

Super chops

Behold, all ye of thin and scraggly facial adornment! Base ruffians! Poseurs! Girly men! Despair, those who have not shaved for the week, exfoliated their chins and dared called the result mutton chops. These! These are the chops of a super hero!

Mr. George West

Though last week's gentleman was fine looking, the mutton chops worn by Mr. West of San Francisco seem better realized. I believe it has much to do with the consistent continuity across the entirety of the beard. A magnificent piece of work.

Friendly Mutton Chops

Friendly mutton chops are a chops and mustache combination, friendly because they meet in the middle. This Minnesotan might have settled with only a mustache and, with his clean good looks, would have turned many a lady's head. But he chose not only mutton chops but an exceptional set of mutton chops, ensuring that all heads will turn.